Warnings of Quil and Embry
by wolflover97
Summary: Follow Quil and Embry's warnings through out their werewolf times and just random moments. Courtesy of Lauren and I!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey yall! This is something me and my BESTIE, (sibling god was to stubborn to give) Lauren, made! We came to the conclusion that we acted like Quil and Embry, I am Quil, Lauren is Embry. Sooo... in conclusion to my longggg, boringgggg summary, these are our ideas and adventures. Warning: There will be extreme cases of idiocy in this story, please do not attempt our actions, as they will probably end up horribly wrong. PS: Do not tell small childeren!**

**Thankkkk Youuu for your attention, with out further adoo!**

Warning #1

Werewolves, are extreme party animals!

(Jake POV)

As I was leading Bella and her Bloodsuckers toward the cliff party we were holding. I only prayed to the big man above that Quil and Embry didn't drink any caffine.

Unfortunatley, as I heard a girlish scream followed by a 'Dude, you look so weirddddd!' I knew the big man above hated me.

(Normal POV)

As Jake, neared the La Push cliffs, he grimaced as he heard the yells and laughter coming from the two muskateers, unfortunatley, he was number three.

Bella and the Cullens followed behind Jake at a steady pace. Edward could read Jake's thoughts and chuckled darkly. This would be interesting.

The two muskateers however, were dancing their absolute without a doubt, the awsomest dance in the history of awsome dances, Soulja' boy!

"Superman that!" they yelled and jumped foward with their hands out, while making a whooshing sound simotanousley.

They failed epicly and fell to the ground laughing like hyenas. The rest of the Pack stared at their two idiots and couldn't help but laugh with the two.

Jacob chose then to enter with the rest of the Cullens. He sighed, chuckled, then grabbed his friends hands and pulled them up while they jumped up enthusiasticly.

"Bella!" they yelled excitedly and ran to her while giving their biggest, creepiest smiles.

"Um, hi guys." she said, a little creeped out by them, even though she knew they meant no harm.

"Hiiiii Bellaaaa!" they said in a possessed voice, their eyes wide and smiles still bigger than Russia.

She was about to respond when they started hyperventalating slowly.

"Um.." she said warrily.

"Yesssss?" They questioned happily.

"I... missed you guys?" she said.

As soon she said that they smiled impossibly bigger and leaned foward.

"Guess what!" Quil whispered.

"What?" she asked, slightly afraid that Embry had now turned completley silent, though still wearing the ridiculous smile and wide eyes.

Quil made a motioning of his pointer finger and she leaned foward.

"We... missed... you...TOOO!" He whispered happily while Embry nodded in the backround and stepped back.

They started up their slow hyperventalating once again, while looking at all of the Cullens.

(Edward POV)

They just stood there, smiles and all. Hyperventalating and staring at each of us.

Then I heard Emmett's thoughts.

_Hey, can't fight em', join em'!_

Then he skipped over to them and joined their idiotic staring. I shook my head at them, Emmett should be a werewolf, he is big, dumb, and like a fluffy puppy. He fits in perfectly!

(Jacob POV)

I watched as my two buddies scared the crap out of our guests, not including Emmett. Alice looked ready to call animal control while Jasper, her creepy boyfriend, tilted his head furrowing his eyebrows while watching my two idiots.

I smiled as Emmett started laughing out of no where, making Embry and Quil laugh, making the Pack laugh, making me laugh. My idiots stumbled towards me, laughing like mad people, but I was too so it was okay. They leaned on me and I leaned on them, laughing like best buddies do. It felt good.

(30 minutes later)

I really don't know how we got here, but we did. Qui holding my feet, Embry holding my arms, swinging me back and forth at the edge of the cliff.

"One... two... THREE!" they shouted and I went flying from their grasp and into the ocean blue. Hhahaha, I sound so fancy. Take that Edward!

I flipped my hair and water sprayed from it.

(Embry POV)

Ha, Jake looked like a duck! Flapping his little wings like it was Thanksgiving, wait... that was a turkey, ohhhh wellll! I turned to Quil and offered him my arm.

"Shall we?" I asked in a British tone.

He smiled and linked his arm with mine.

"We shall." he matched my tone.

I giggled like a friggin girl and skipped with him, straight off the edge. We laughed the whole way down.

Ahhhh, partying with the werewolves, always a good time, but... never, ever let me and Quil have caffine. The reason, that night, Edward Cullen went home with shorter hair, Rosalie, lost her blonde hair, sorry Jakey, no more blonde jokes, find some gray ones, andddd, Samuel Uley, our greatttt Alpha, got the greatest wedgie in the history of wedgies. Emmett was proud. Sam was mad, and Jake, well, he laid on the ground laughing like crazy with us. I love parties!


	2. Chapter 2

**Ohmigosh! I have not written anything in forever! K, I just got over a writers block, heres a new chappy.**

Warning #3:

What wouldja do-oo-oo for a Klondike bar?

Sigh. Sigh. Sighhhhhhhhhhhh. Ya' know, i kind of thought that the whole "werewolf thing' would make life a little more interesting. Yet, here I sit with Quil by my side, eating iceream. Sigh. It was so hot outside. As in, "if I'm a werewolf with a super high temperature, and its hot to me, its hot!". So, Quil came up with the absolutley BRILLIANT idea of eating Klondike bars, upside down. Jake was so caught up in spending time with Bella, oh yeah, she chose him, shocker, but now he has no time for us. Sigh. What the hell happened to bros over hoes? Oh well, Quil's room was a serious mess. I was laying diagnally across his bed while he sat against the headboard, his feet resting on my stomach. and then, Quil.

"Hey Em, would you give Billy a lap dance for a Klondike bar?"

"Hell No!"

And so, our 'what would you do for a Klondike Bar' game began.

Would you give Paul a strip tease?

Would you play football naked?

Would you make out with Jake?

Would you grind Leah?

All of these questions came. Only Quil replied yes to the last question though, and I quote, "Dude, totally, she's got a helluva rack!"

Oh Quil.

Then, Jake burst through the door, no shirt and a pair of old sweats. He must have run here.

"Hey, give me a Klondike Bar." he said.

Me and Quil exchanged looks, and then smiled deviously.

"Oh, what wouldja do-oo-oo for a Klondike Bar?"

**So what did yall think, I actually wrote this on my Ipod in band today, hehe, sneakiness!**


	3. Chapter 3

Warning: This is about me and my friend Lauren if we were werewolves. We talked about this concept when she was over and I had to write about it! :)

(Quil POV)

Well, we got some new recruits. Teresa and Dakota. (A/N: I'm Dakota and Lauren is Teresa) They are Dynamites! My lord, Paul is even scared... PAUL! Its bad, but they are like AMAZING! I LOVE them! Me and Embry decided that Dakota is like me and Teresa is like Embry. Yep, oh, and we're dating. Yep, our little dynomites. We love them so. Wo, I sounded like Shakespear right there. In fact, we are going to see them right now.

"Bro, I can only imagine what is gunna happen today." Embry sighed.

I smiled. I could only imagine.

We came to the house, a HUGE yellow house. It so mexican style. It was... exotic. I liked it. As soon as we entered the yard, their voices rang in our ears.

"Teresa, get away!"

"You get away!"

And then a simoltaneous, "Whoa," and then, "OW!" I chuckled, what could it be now.

We walked around the basketball hoop- Dakota was really in to sport... mmmmhhmmmm- and crossed the yard. Both of our mouths dropped as we took in the sight. Our two little crazies jumping five feet in the air on a trampoline. Oh lord. I can see it now, broken legs, broken necks, busted lips- I'll kiss that and make it better- and cracked heads. Man! Of course they have to get that. They turned towards us. Their eyes popped open wide and they sprang towards us, only to be stopped by the net.

"Quil."

"Embry."

The words flew out of their mouths at the same time. Twins. I shook my head and smiled. Now we knew that we would never win if we asked them to be careful. They would break their leg just to be stubborn. So, we did what any man would do... we joined! I screamed the loudest i could, Embry did they same, and we burst toward the trampoline. I jumped on and tackled Dakota, Embry tackled Teresa. We landed in a laughing pile. I hugged her close before getting up and bouncing her like a pancake.

"Qui-i-il." she laughed with every bounce. I laughed before stopping so she could stand, before bouncing her again. She screamed and ran after me, jumping on my back and screaming,

"Piggyback Ride!"

She wrapped her legs around my middle and I held her ankles, before jumping. Embry copied my actions and soon, it was and all out Chicken Fight, more like war. It was a very fun day, especially Billy's face when we showed up with messed up hair and clothes. Jake just shook his head and said,

"It's probably not what you think dad, with these people, you never know what to expect."

I smiled and nodded.

Well, the best part was when the day ended. Me and Embry curled up around our girls, sleeping bags and Doritos all piled on the trampoline.


	4. Chapter 4

**Well this came off the top of my head. So here.**

(Embry POV)

Okay, can I tell you how WEIRD Quil Ateara is! Like un-believably weird. Okay, so do you know what happened today? Hmmmm? Well of course you don't. So I'm going to tell you. Okay, on with the story.

Me, Jake, Paul and Quil were at the beach. Not swimming or anything, just chillin'. We were wearing swim shorts and earning quite a few nice looks from the ladies if I do say so myself, but we were enjoying some guy time. Our topics: weird stuff we do, stupid stuff we do, injuries when we do stupid stuff, and of course our reactions of others doing stupid stuff. Hey, we are guys, don't judge.

So, we're walking along, minding our own buisness, when Paul decides to get all hissy prissy on us. Something about how Jake has better abs than him or something like that. Anyway, he stomped off throwing his arms in the air like he just dont care (Sorry, cant help it) and kicking sand all around. But you see, the funny part happened about three seconds later. So why am I dragging this out wayyyyy longer than I should... because I want to annoy you dear readers. On with the story. So, kicking sand in the wind proves what commonly known fact... when the ind blows back, the sand will magically come back WITH IT, and so the sand is blowing back on YOU! WHICH is EXACTLY what happened to our poor Pauly dear. As Paul kicked the sand, the wind blew back furiously and the sand made contact Paul's BEAUTIFUL eyes. (UMMMM, yeah) Screaming, turning, twisting, and an ocassional, "Holy crud!" occured. All of us were in shock for a minute before busting out laughing. Now this would be perfectly normal, except Quil wasnt laughing, no no, I could almost see the hamster spinning in his devious little head. And one glance was all I got of him before he took off like a speeding bullet. The purple and green polka dots on his swim trunks looked something like the balls in a pinball machine. He resembled Bambi in a way, he didnt run normal, he... frollocked. Yes, that is a seriously weird word. Anyhoo, bouncing like my moms homemade meatballs, he took off towards Paul. When the lunatic was within a few feet of Paul, he leaped. Arms and legs spread out, he almost looked like a flying squirrel, he tackled Paul and they landed in a flurry of sand. We all stared in shock, did that morin really do that?

"Quil! Get off of me right now or I swear you are going to be burning in Hell when I get through with you!"

Paul sounded pretty scary, I'd be hightailing it outta' here if I was Quil, but no, he smiled at Paul as if he just got a friggin lollipop. And then, something totally Quil happened. He pinned him down and shouted, "Help me bury him!"

Of course Quil, of course.

At first, no one moved, but then I considered my options.

Help: get pumbled by Paul later.

Dont Help: regret this everyday of your life... and it would be fun.

So I considered them carefully, and took off towards Paul and my lunatic friend. So bury him I did, and so did Jake. Very fun, and a good run. Paul chased us for ten blocks shouting, "You bitches are going to be rubbing baby powder all over my ass when I get a rash ffrom this!"

Yeah, it was a good day.

**Hope you enjoyed!**


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